5 summer fashion fails: It seems to be coming early this year!
by Laetitia Wong
Whilst holidaying in Europe, I found myself sitting at a cafe in Rome, having just escaped the clutches of my family and the never-ending tours of the Vatican. With my very Asian mom (read: Fresh off the Boat) and her insistence that we leave all our expensive phones at home, I had nothing but her old Samsung S2, also known as the ‘emergencies only’ phone, for company. With nothing to do and no Line Coffee to entertain the passing minutes till it hit lunchtime, naturally I turned to what I’d like to call ‘Human watching’ as my temporary form of entertainment.
It’s pretty simple, really, the past time of all Parisians and most Europeans. Basically, you angle yourselves towards the passers-by and start critically looking at them with a dead stink eye from top to toe, rating their hair/makeup/clothes/attitude/gait/mannerisms/hilarious facial features in your mind and make up back stories about each of these people. This is what my guy would like to call “The Science of Deduction”. He’s been watching too much Sherlock.
Anyway, having spent a good hour or so a day just purely watching people pass me by, I hastily scribbled down on a barf bag that I keep handy in my drawstring haversack (Motion sickness, don’t ask.) the top 5 fashion fails that I observed whilst touring the region, and what about the fashion that was so ridiculous, I could cry. Here goes:
1. Fake Orange Tan
This one’s a dime a dozen. Since it’s always cold 3/4 of the time in Europe and there’s hardly any sun, you’d be seeing girls go through extreme measures to get a tan. And when their Mr Bean techniques fail (remember that episode where Mr Bean drove all around town to find that little spot of sun for his ‘Beach Day’? Yeah, it’s like that), they turn to fake tanning. Oh, but with the fake tanner overload, we’ve got ourselves an army of Jersey Shore oompa loompas.
2. Can’t decide? Go with both!
It’s cold in Europe, and as a solution to keep the fashion as well as comfort, there were few that were spotted wearing their adorable midi shorts along with rainbow coloured spandex tights. It was like a fusion between Jersey Shore and a bad 80’s Jane Fonda workout tape. For pete’s sake girls, choose one!
3. Eyeliner overload
It was like an army of Amy Winehouses. Enough said. Check out our post here for more makeup no-nos! Remember, minimal is the new in, and less is definitely more.
4. Straggly hair extensions
Remember the Britney fiasco of 2007, where she went ahead and shaved her head, followed by a hasty coverup with cheap extensions that showed badly and resembled somewhat of a bird’s nest atop her blonde head? Well, this was worse.
Girls, always remember that if the key to extensions is to make them look as real as possible, and hiding them well with a reputable stylist is always better than threading them in yourselves with products purchased at the dollar store.
5. Teetering heels
This one’s sort of a no brainer, but there’s truly no one who would hobble across 44 hectares of Vatican land in a pair of these:
And yet… I continue to be surprised.